MADE FRESH YEARLY

We use only the finest poets in our journal & every precaution has been taken to avoid or legally distance ourselves from the salmonella outbreaks that followed the release of last issue. do not read this magazine without first cooking it for at least two hours at 450 degrees. No lead paint has been used in this journal except where the cost of not using lead paint would be prohibitive, as on the cover, ink & in the paper. If you swallow a portion of this magazine we recommend administering a small amount of turpentine to quickly dissolve the paint. Lungfull! can not accept responsibility for personal or cultural loss due to the absorption of the materials herein. I mean, if you’re reading this, things probably weren’t going so well for you to begin with. Whatever illusory feelings of great wisdom or unaccountable euphoria you may experience while reading may be followed by a gradual and profound descent into psychological and physical desolation. To mitigate this “algernon” effect be sure to write down any information that may be important to you before reading any further. ie: spouse’s name, home address, belief systems. you may notice your flexibility improves as you read. this is due to your body’s normal increase in the production of elastin, a hormone triggered by undue stress. do not contort your body while reading lungfull as you may not be able to undo whatever crazy position you’ve gotten yourself into. if pressure builds behind your eyes, Pinching your nose & blowing may return a sense of equilibrium. By turning this page you give tacit consent for the degradation of everything you hold to be truthful and/or beautiful. People you believe to be your friends will leave you, your dog will stare at you like you are made of steak, your cellphone batteries will go dead, you will develop allergies to delicious pie, you will discover your fly to have been open every day since eighth grade.Despite the devastating results of clinical trials, there are many who continue to fund our efforts to make poetry somewhat less deleterious. They may be misguided, but we love the people who put their money where our mouth is. The coins chip our teeth, but the dollar bills are so moist & tender. We thank them for their generous grants, donations & willingness to invest in the black-market horse-breeding/insurance fraud operation we run on the side. “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy,” said Spike Milligan. At the top of our list of those who give us that chance are Kathleen Masterson, Catherine Leahy & everyone at NYSCA who keep the economics of the 21st century from snuffing the tenuously eternal flame of genius. Thanks also to Governor Elliot Spitzer for making their job, and thus ours, somewhat less daunting this year with a little extra cash in the state coffers earmarked for the arts. & how about Jamie Schwartz, Jeffrey Lependorf, Jay Baron Nicorvo & all the literary swashbucklers of CLMP. Additional vast tracts of appreciation for Adam Forest Huttler, Arwen Lowbridge, Alexandra Gray & the entire crew at Fractured Atlas for their continued facilitation. Thanks also to the Volunteer Lawyers for the arts who’s great acumen we will tap very very soon in our nascent attempt to incorporate & thus, in the eyes of the 14th amendment, attain immortality. “Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy,” said Milligan. Believe it or not, also thanks to the foundations who were *unable* to support us despite our plaintive cries. Especially to The Greenwall Foundation who let us know almost before we even mailed our letter of inquiry. “I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” said Shaquille O’Neal, son of thaT well known mid-20th century playwright.This issue of lungfull previously appeared, in a slightly different form, as Dom Delillo’s White Noise.The reanimated corpse of Henry Ward Beecher, Jean Michel Basquiat & Boss Tweed appear at national Lungfull publicity events courtesy of the green-wood cemetery.Our subscribers too fill our hearts with glee even more than they do our coffers with green. Our inbox is filled with great soliloquies of those maligned & by Lungfull!’s editorial choices, people who wanted to make it clear that their admiration for this journal was contingent on being published by the journal. & despite having never actually read Lungfull, they want us to know that they will certainly never read it in the future. Their wild, inspirational screeds are available for viewing by appointment - or just drop us a line & we’ll forward them on. Don’t get us wrong, we still like them - even more for their generous revelation of their true nature. They could have fooled us for years. Thanks for saving us the time!Do you want to save time? Avail yourself of the fine products and services advertised in the back of this issue. You’ll never suffer the frustration of reading the wrong book or attending the wrong reading again. & speaking of doing the wrong thing what could be more wrong than stopping to help someone out – when that person happens to be the bastard editor of this magazine. Despite the fact not one of these people invented a time machine, traveled back to Perry Street circa 1988 & told me not to become a poet in the first place, I still got nothing but love for these selfless souls: Stacy, Corrine, Arlo & the former & future bats in the belfry of the Poetry Project, John Coletti in his infinite sorrow, The Xtine-Kundan Alliance for their inadvertent InDesign support, Eric Lorberer for his work serving our Lorb, Al of the Bagel Zone, Howard Zinn, The Thanksgiving Shade Grown Coffee Company, The Breaktime Cookie Company, Erik Sweet in Albany, John Fitzroy, John Trudell, Chris Martin & Puppyflowers, Gino of Chesterton, Tek Serv despite the money, Jason Catanzariti the CFI, Eric Hollender, The Wall Street Journal, Dave Brinks & Megan Burns of New Orleans’ Yawp & Gold Mine Saloon, Kate Johnson, Rev. Severina, Mary McTague, Nick & Angela, Jim BehrLe & Alex at Zinc Bar, Abigail, J & Louisa Clarkson, Claudia Lorber & Bill, Douglass Rothschild, Jackie Sheeler & poetz.com, luckymojo.com, Shardav Industries, Danny J., David Kirshenbaum & Boog Lit, Bruce Covey, Coconut & Emory University, Mister Sirius, Eugene Ostashevsky, MacGregor Card, Matvei Y & Anna M of UDP, Joel Kuszai and Bill Marsh from Factory School, Aaron Brashear & Mic Holwin & Concerned Citizens of Greenwood Heights, Green-wood Cemetery, Community Board 7, Thomas Coghlan, Noam Chomsky, Erica Kaufman, David Cameron, Holly White & Mr. Bubbles, John Wallingford, Jordan Davis, CE Putnam & Mo in Seattle, Dick Wolf, Jeffrey Nelson, Paola Casarini, Brandon Downing & Melissa Cacha, Matt Abramovitz & pure jazz sirius 72, jess fiorini, christine hamm, Marcella Durand & Rich O’Russa, Greg Fuchs, Vincent Katz & Vanitas, Bruce Covey & Coconut, Ram Devineni & Rattapallax & the healing properties of time. advance praise for the Midwives of Belleview.Lungfull! should be available at your local bookstore. The US should not be at war in Iraq. The global economic system should not concentrate the wealth of 1% of the world’s population at the expense of the other 99%. People should eat a lot of fruit & vegetables & exercise every day. things are clearly not as they ought to be. Luckily, even if your local bookstore opts to carry Chicken Soup for the Militant Vegetarian’s Soul instead, you can still make your way to the internet where Lungfull is always available – www.lungfull.org. Domestic subscriptions are $19.90 for 2 issues & $39.80 for 4 issues. For $595 you get issues for the rest of your life. Due to the ever increasing cost of production, listen sometimes its like well, an accident might have to happen to you after about 25 years, but lets not even concern ourself with that now. If the Dixie Chicks are as broadband as you get, you can mail checks payable to Brendan Lorber, not Lungfull! Send them to Subscriptions, Lungfull!magazine, 316 23rd Street, Brooklyn, NY 11215. You may also obtain additional Lungfull Stickers for a dollar a sticker. MUDDY BACK GUARANTEE: If at any time you become disenchanted with the journal we will float down the Mississippi using you as a raft. JERRY ORBACH GUARANTEE: If you still don’t like the magazine, Detective Lenny Briscoe will interrupt you at work & put the cuffs on. “you can’t arrest me here at my job! I’m very important! people count on me to be here” “they can help you count over at the station. I’m thinking they can help you count 20 or maybe 25 years to life.” da-dum! These offers expire on 12/10/08 unless subsequent notices rescind or extend them. Lungfull! is printed, bound & waterproofed by the incredible team at Sterling Pierce. A better team than them you could not ask for – they’ve been doing Lungfull since the Quark 2 days. Each issue is sheer laminated perfection & then they do it even better the next time round. i mean, even this 4pt type is legible. 4 measly points & they make it look good. (good to everyone except the venerable editor of stoneboat who asked me if i needed help with the design of the magazine. gee thanks mister!) Lungfull! is distributed around the U.S. & in Europe by Ingram & Ubiquity. Our other distributors Desert Moon Periodicals & Bernhard DeBoer have both gone out of business in the past two years. & they’ve taken with them years of back money they owe us. How do we get in on a class action lawsuit? We never expected to make anything off running a literary magazine, but afraid we can’t wish them the best of luck with their retirment after they played us for suckers for years. Maybe Faye Kosmidis will read this sometime & return our many unanswered phone calls dating back to 2005. A little courtesy goes a long long way, Faye. Operators are standing by! Lungfull! welcomes submissions of text & visual art from people of all backgrounds, ethnicities & classes in the US & internationally. We publish work of emerging & established writers at all stages of their career/anti-career. All submissions must be accompanied by a cover letter in which you forsake the self-important grandstanding – if a technique wouldn’t work picking us up drunk in a bar, it won’t work in making us feel sympathy for your work. Instead, why not explain why you want anything to do with Lungfull. Response time varies and routinely exceeds people’s annoyance threshold. If you enjoy being annoyed or, even better, have enough going on that a year or so won’t play on your nerves then we can’t wait to see what you got up your sleeve. Please do not query us, or complain to others, before one year has passed. We publish 2% of received submissions, so we send our apologies in advance. Submissions without sases will meet an unsatisfying end not unlike the end of the sopranos finale. The Letters & Poems to the Editor section is, like anti-war marches, a way of fostering the illusion of democratic participation in a process the people really have no control over. It’s also fun because, unlike the rest of the magazine where people are always accosting the editor for having been rejected, people complain in almost equal numbers for having their letters printed without permission. Send submissions & letters to the editor to 316 23rd Street, Brooklyn, NY 11215. Anything you send that isn’t money or poems will be considered a letter to the editor & printed. Most people start worrying about their eyes about now but I’m more concerned with your posture – your nose must be almost resting on top of the page. The material in this magazine, from headlines to this, the tiniest of fonts is mere opinion. You may know it’s true. I know it’s true. But for legal purposes lets just say its all conjecture. The portions that may leave us open for lawsuits should be read as, you know, satire. Lungfull!magazine, Disconnecting the dots, The stakes are big, the mistakes are bigger, wronging the writers, writing the wrongs & all other materials written or created by the editor are copyright (c)2008 Brendan Lorber. All other writing & visual art is copyrighted property of their respective creators. in our experience, all wrongs are deserved and all rights are reserved.

 

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