BUDGET

"You own a yacht? Which one is it? The big one?"
"Certainly not! With all the unrest in the world, I don't
think anybody should have a yacht that sleeps more than twelve."
-- Marilyn Monroe & Tony Curtis in "Some Like it Hot"

Because LUNGFULL! is funded in part by your taxpayer dollars, we are obliged to disclose our expenses, income and the cost-saving measures we are implementing.

	EXPENSES
	12% Replacing congressmen with robots
	8% Compusive coin stacking disorder
	26% Crashing rental cars for erotic thrill
	7% Reanimating Ezra Pound for tough editorial decisions "This is terrible, of course not. Why do you keep doing this to me?"
	5% Helium to make unsolicited mss more entertaining
	13% Creating man-made islands in the shape of other journals' editors
	19% Paramilitary training for all contributors
	8% Endless harassing phone calls to Poetry Project, Bowery Poetry Club, Woodland Pattern Center
	1% Printing and distribution (and galvanized chains for when reanimated Ezra Pound sees fire and freaks out)
	INCOME
	10% ATM and Metrocard vending machine skimming
	30% Counterfeit Turkish currency
	10% Extortion
	22% Stealing old people's medicine and reselling it to poets
	12% Poisoning rich people and taking their place at yacht club & board meetings
	15% Ponzi schemes
	1% Subscriptions (and buyng beer for teenagers at the bodega)
	COST SAVING MEASURES
	Building poets from scratch to lower data corruption/failure rate
	Eating coworkers' lunch
	Wearing one shoe
	Using street thugs instead of professional hitmen
	Living in some nice family's house without them knowing
	"It fell off the truck."

 

 

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